Sad news, cybersex enthusiasts. As of this column, The Clickable Clit will be ending. That means I’ll no longer be bringing you blog posts about my cybersex exploits — but you can expect to see a new feature about sex from me starting up sometime soon at SFWeekly.com. In order to say goodbye to the column, why not look back on some of my fondest — i.e. sexiest — moments?
- Transcript: sex in the library with Dr. S.
- Transcript: Halloween cybersex with Dr. S.
- Transcript: Open office hours with Dr. S.
Thanks for reading and be sure to check for more sexy coverage from yours truly!
Starting January 1st, Ning, the company that hosts my cybersex matchmaking site Beautiful Stranger, will be taking down all its “adult” social networks. That doesn’t just include my site, but hundreds of others with thousands of users who are getting shunned just for being un-PG 13. Here’s the official word from Ning:
As a Network Creator of an adult network on Ning, we have an important announcement regarding your social network.
As of January 1, 2009, we are discontinuing support for adult social networks on the Ning Platform.
We’re not discontinuing support for adult networks because we no longer believe in the freedom to create your own social network for anything as long as it’s legal. We do. Practically though, supporting adult networks no longer makes sense…
For those of you who created and worked hard on your adult networks, we appreciate your work and dedication and wish there were a different answer.
Since sending this announcement, Ning has been semi-helpful in terms of helping me save the data for the site. Now to figure out what to do with it…
Filed under: Boy/girl toy follow-ups, Cybersex proper, That was hot, Transcripts
The following is a transcript with Dr. S. from a few weeks back, the afternoon we exchanged sexy photos. Some less than tantalizing talk has been cut from the beginning and the end of the conversation.
Me: hmm, I think my favorite is the boxers shot, since that’s always such a great feeling to run your hands along a hard cock that’s just waiting
then again, i also like number 3
since i can envision licking a straight line up from the base
Dr. S.: good
Me: very nice indeed
thank you for the visual
now you just make me wish i was there even more
Dr. S.: that can’t be a bad thing, though
Me: oh no, not at all
now i just have a much more visceral sense of what i would be like to pleasure you
Dr. S.: i like the sound of that
Me: i can more accurately envision taking your cock into my throat, or what you would look like pushing into me
Dr. S.: oh hell
i don’t know which i want to feel more
Me: the way that you’re standing in those shots, it would be so easy just to kneel down in front of you and wrap my lips around your cock
though of course, that desk might be a good height for wrapping my legs around you instead while you fuck me
Dr. S.: yes
Me: I can also envision gripping your ass, digging my fingers into your skin involuntarily to put you closer, deeper inside me
Dr. S.: and i can envision leaning over you, raising myself up on my toes and pressing harder against you as i deep thrust into you
my hands gripping your shoulders, loving the feel of your breasts tight against my chest as i grind into you with my cock
Me: mmm, that would be a nice feeling, being pressed tight against you, holding on. still, it could also be nice to lean back, find a place to rest my hands on the desk, and be able to watch a bit while you fuck me.
Dr. S.: yes, i agree, looking down to watch my cock sliding in and out of you over and over
Me: see, now I know exactly what that would look like
Me: what it would look like if you were to pull back, letting the head of your cock slip out slowly, then thrusting hard back in
it’s a nice image
Dr. S.: a beautiful image
i want to see how your lips would spread for my cock
how you’d open up to me
no arms on these chairs
Me: i like that
Dr. S.: grip the back of the chair in your hands as you rise and fall on my cock
Me: so you could sit back in your chair while I slid off the desk and onto your lap, holding on, using my tiptoes to move me up and down over you
Dr. S.: yes, like the good girl that you are
riding my cock so well
Me: i can feel the edge of the desk on my back, your cock pushing deep inside of me each time i press down
leaning over to kiss and lick your neck, my back curved, continuing to move over you
Dr. S.: i lean my head down to lick over the rise of your breasts as you arch your back, taking a nipple between my lips, sucking eagerly as my hands sink into your ass
Me: moving faster over you, squirming against you as you lick my nipple, continuing to grind again and again against your hips
Dr. S.: opening my mouth wide upon your nipple, sucking harder now in response, slapping your ass with one hand as i grip it hard with the other, groaning into your breasts
Me: my mouth open wide, my head thrown back, i bring one hand down to my clit where i can feel you sliding in and out of me
Mr. S.: both hands moving up to grip your hips tight, my thumbs rubbing over your hipbones, guiding your movements up and down on my cock
Me: letting myself be moved by you, letting you pull me down harder
Dr. S.: my breath catching each time you come down fully upon me
Me: rubbing myself faster now, my fingers sliding over my wet clit, pressing down on you hard, wanting all of you inside me
will you let me come?
Dr. S.: yes
come on my cock, bonnie
i want to feel you
sliding both hands up to grip your shoulders, pulling you down harder on my cock
forcing myself deeper into you
my cock arching full and hard inside you
Me: feeling the tension in my body peak, moaning uncontrollably , i tense around you, coming hard
Dr. S.: yes, that’s my girl
holding you close and tight to me
gritting my teeth as i try to hold off inside you
Me: still shaking against you, the last waves making me shudder around you
Dr. S.: mmm
Me: finally finishing, moving slightly, gently up and down over you
my face on your neck
Dr. S.: trailing my fingertips up and down along your spine, and then up to run my fingers through your hair, kissing your bare shoulder
Me: my breathing still ragged, whispering into your ear: you can do whatever you want to me
Dr. S.: whispering back into your ear: i know
(how are you feeling right now?)
Me: (i never quite know how to answer that question… hot, wet, stuck on the image of coming on your cock, wrapped around you on a desk chair. you?)
Dr. S.: i want my cock in your throat
(not to disrupt your image, of course)
Me: (of course)
Dr. S.: (quite a few times i’ve looked over some of your facebook pictures, trying to imagine how your mouth would move with my cock between your lips)
Me: (hmm, that tempts me to take photos of my own)
Dr. S.: (good)
Dr. S.: (to show you what i would look like with a cock deep in my throat)
Dr. S.: (oh hell)
Me: climbing off you, my body still throbbing
Dr. S.: i would love to see that
Me: (unfortunately it couldn’t be your cock, but it would give a more accurate idea.)
Dr. S.: (accuracy’s always good)
Me: (any other requests while we’re at it? — for the sake of visualization of course)
Dr. S.: hmmm
wouldn’t mind a shot of your breasts, of course
Me: getting down on my knees in front of your chair
Dr. S.: feel free to surprise me, too
I’m seeing this new boy whom I met on OkCupid. He’s older than me — older than my sexy professor, amusingly enough — but I like him quite a bit. Maybe I’m just a sucker for pretty eyes. Why do boys always get the best eyelashes when they don’t even know how to use them?
One of the first times we were hanging out, the subject of my articles came up. After some coaxing, it came out that he had found my blogs, read a bunch of my pieces, and done the whole Google stalking thing. The one thing he refused to read, however, were my cybersex transcripts. He said he preferred to learn about me at his own speed, instead of stumbling across what you could call sexuality spoilers.
I wonder how much you could really learn about me from my transcripts — or at least the me you’d encounter in bed. Probably a lot, seeing as how my tastes in one are pretty identical to my tastes in the other. Though now, of course, I’m tempted to have totally outrageous cybersex, send him the transcript, and be like, “I thought you should know this about me…” I’m thinking hot zebra-on-schoolgirl action, or something appropriately horrifying.
Filed under: Boy/girl toy follow-ups, Gripes, Online heads offline, Um thanks?
I was on OkCupid the other day, checking my mail, when an IM popped up from a boy I’d dated a couple times this summer. The beauty of the new OKC IM system — and by beauty I mean the giant pain in the ass — is that you can’t turn off the ability to get messaged, which means you either have to ignore the people who bug you or entertain inane conversations. I was surprised to here from this guy, since, although we’d enjoyed each other’s company, I thought we both came to an unspoken agreement we weren’t interested any longer. Or, to be more specific, we’d slept together, I hadn’t thought it was very good, and I decided to be busy the next two times he tried to schedule a date. Still, I wouldn’t have minded staying friends.
Unfortunately, this boy wasn’t IMing me to ask if we could meet for a platonic dinner and catch up on life. Instead he was home in the middle of the day, lonely and horny, and clearly trying to stir up a booty call. “Remember that first date we went on, the one where we made out in the alley?” he wrote. Well, yes, I do remember it, I thought, but I also remember the three dates after that — dates during which, I should add, you didn’t get me drunk and therefore I wasn’t silly/easy. Then he told me about the Youtube videos of girls making out he was watching. Then he starting theorizing about what we could do if we hung out again… in bed. What makes you think I’d go there with you again? Because it was so great the last time?
All I have to say is, wham bam no thank you ma’am. That’s what I get for signing on to OKC in the middle of the day.
I recent interviewed Dr. S. for a piece I was writing on cybersex and depression. To be specific, I wanted to know if people who had cybersex often felt like there was a connection between getting it on online and their mood. The good professor wrote me back a thoughtful response, which is what I expected from someone with a PhD in the literary arts. What caught me off guard was his response to the question, “How many hours a week do you engage in online sexual entertainment.” His answer: up to thirteen, including porn and erotic chat.
Thirteen hours a week? That’s more than a day and a half of work. If I had thirteen free hours a week, I would… I don’t know, write a novel, solve world hunger, find a cure for AIDS, or something. I’m not saying I think Dr. S. is alone in the amount of time he spends getting off online, I’m just constantly baffled by how much of their lives men — not to generalize, but I’ve never heard from a woman with an internet sex addiction — spend on such things. At a certain point I begin to question that I’m involved with a healthy, balanced person who happens to enjoy talking other people off. Instead, I start to wonder if I’m dealing with a pathology.
To be honest, there’s probably also an edge of jealousy in my response to those thirteen hours per week. I kinda like my professor — like, like like (triple word score!). He spends, on average, two hours every Friday morning with me. Lately that’s been the only two hours each week I dedicate to cybersex — and remember, that’s literally part of my job. If he spends, let’s say, four times that many hours on erotic chat, just think of all the other partners he must have. I mean, I’m poly in real life, and it’s not like he’s going to show up with a digital STD, so I shouldn’t care, but there’s still something a tad skeevy about the whole thing…
Filed under: Boy/girl toy follow-ups, Online heads offline, Real world wake-ups
Though it’s been a week or two since Dr. S. and I got down and dirty with any official cybersex, I have had a bunch of interesting interactions with him lately. First, after asking him to describe his cock, he tried to use his cam to show me. It ended up being a bust, as I was only getting a mosaic-y image (I blame the webcam, that tease!). Still, for a few minutes I did get to see the man in the semi-flesh — from the shoulders up, no less –while he tried to fix the cam. Eventually he sent me still shots. They weren’t unimpressive, but I was actually more struck by seeing his face.
He was considerably cuter than in the Facebook shots I’d seen, more relaxed. This idea I had that he was some older man I never would have met if not for our taboo online encounters keeps moving farther and farther away. He’s not actually that much older than me, and if I saw him at a coffee shop I might well ask him out. At this point, he’s almost downright normal.
A few days later, he caught me on IM late one night while I was working. Somehow we got to talking about his past relationships, real-life ones. Endearingly enough, it seems he used to be a pretty shy guy. His current relationship — the one I’d support more if it didn’t stop him from flying to San Fran and jumping me — is his first long term, steady, traditional type deal. To top that off, he was raised super Christian, something which always boggles this liberal Jewish mind. Still, Catholic guilt does seem to build the best lovers. They’ve got so much shame to work out, and guess who they work it out on?
More on the professor in weeks to come. For now, I’m slightly baffled by the mere fact that he’s human…
Filed under: Well that's just weird
I couldn’t believe my entertaining, coincidental luck when, the other day on OkCupid, I received the following message:
Hi, I liked your profile-you are lovely. I am a tall, handsome and fit Professor, 45, live in Boston but work in SF a lot and I am coming soon. I consult for a biotech in SF. I’m looking for both a real friendship AND some hot sensual fun-if we are a good match. Hopefully much more than a 1 time thing. If this sounds interesting (and you liked my profile), please say hi, and I will send pics.
A handsome professor is coming to San Francisco and wants to be my sex buddy? Score! Not really, but considering the current presence of an academic hunk in my online life, the timing seemed pretty funny. The best part is, the note was signed with the same first name as Dr. S.’s. Is he secretly showing up on my doorstep under the guise of a smarmy OKCupid user? No, but that doesn’t stop a girl from wishing…
This week I’m home in Philadelphia for Thanksgiving, which means it’s going to be a long, dry seven days — cybersex speaking. If I thought being in an office made erotic chat hard, or even having a roommate wandering in and out of the living room, staying with my overbearing Jewish family instantly kills all desire to have a good, old internet time. In fact, I’m convinced that the entire holiday of Thanksgiving was somehow designed to kill libidos. Hear me out on this one.
What do you do on Thanksgiving? You get together with family and friends in a big group, smile at people you don’t even like, and pretend to be normal for the grandparents. Buzz kill. Then you eat a lot of food that makes you really sleepy, which ensures you’d rather pass out than jump your significant other. Blah, this whole “togetherness” thing is just really bumming me out. How’s a girl supposed to get any online action when she keeps getting called down to help make pumpkin pie?
Thanks to my roommate’s case of strep and a friend’s birthday party, I noticed two new things about my cybersex exploits this past Friday…
1) I’m more embarrassed than I thought to have other people around while I’m having sex online. The way I always described it, cybersex was cold, calculated research. It left me unaffected and, of course, unashamed. I probably should have admitted that just wasn’t true after working in an office building temporarily crippled my online sex life. With my roommate wandering in and out of my work space during a chat with Dr. S. though, I saw exactly how effected and involved I was. I didn’t want him to read my screen. I didn’t want to respond while he was around and my heart wasn’t 100% in it. Most of all, I felt exposed, like I’d been caught in the middle of something naughty and vulnerable, which I suppose I had, except that I’d always convinced myself that thing was only work.
2) My online sex life is a cocktail party conversation starter. At a friend’s birthday party that night, I had the same conversation I always have among new acquaintances who’ve gotten word of what I do for a living. They want to hear about the juicy life of a sex writer, and usually I don’t mind telling them. But when I heard myself relaying the same sensational stories I’ve told over and over, I started to feel a bit like a trained seal. These people don’t want to hear the nuances of online sex language, or the emotional complications of internet hook-ups. Then there’s the fact that, no matter whose boyfriend I’m talking to about the subject, it always sounds like I’m flirting. Yes, I like what I do. Let’s talk about something else.
